Fuck Buns: Krispy Kreme Double Cheeseburger

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Don’t know how to start this post. The picture above says it all really. I heard about, I wanted it, I made it. I even went running, cycling & ice skating that morning just to not feel half as much like such a fat shit for wanting it so bad.

Ye old Wiki claims the doughnut burger is nicknamed the Luther Burger, where “According to legend, the burger was named for & was a favourite (and possible invention) of singer, songwriter & record producer Luther Vandross”. I don’t care if that’s true or not, although it would explain the man’s size!

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So to start; burgers. I’ve really taken to throwing feta into them now, big pinch so sea salt & red over white onions any day. And fuck putting any pepper in, hate the shit. You of course may load yours up with the all the shit you want!

At this point, I usually form whatever sized patties I’m going for & wack them in the fridge for at least 2 hours. Just helps to hold the meat together when they’re being cooked.

NEXT! FRIES!

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Get potato. Cut up potato to make your very own bespoke fries. Soak potato for 30mins to get starch out of them suckers. Take picture.

I tend to use warm water for this. Don’t ask why, just habit/choice. Not sure it makes a particular blind bit of difference. Saying that, not sure if the soaking does either! I’ve made fries without pre-soaking they come out pretty good as well. Again, it’s just preference.

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Once the 30mins is done, rinse ’em off, throw them onto a sheet of parchment paper (less cleaning later!) & season to taste. Straight up salt it most the time unbeatable, other times it’s a pinch of paprika & Cajun shizzle.

Bake these @ 190 degrees for about 40-45mins for a golden crisp finish. Insert comment about ovens varying.

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And therrr be the ‘buns’!

The base was simple enough; Original Glazed without a doubt. But the top ‘bun’ was a thinker…

Plain glazed again? Na. I didn’t get this far just to go plain Jane on it. Nearly went for the Strawberry Gloss but eventually stuck with the Caramel Iced. I realised going for the strawberry doughnut with its bright pink colouring, I would be neglecting taste over a nicer photo for this post. Let me just say this now; this blog is a by-product of my eating, not the other way round!

And I genuinely thought that the caramel flavour would pair well with the beef. Fuck I was right.

AND SO… burgers were fried…

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…Fries were cooked…

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…and the Kripsy Kreme double cheeseburger was born onto my plate!

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Can you see the hot grease/sugar mixture dripping from the bottom of that burger… Homer Simpson would be proud.

I’ve never had a burger without sauce, so I had to throw in a splash of BBQ. I was really unsure how that would taste with the doughnuts, but to have not had it on my burger would mean I wouldn’t get my idea of what the burger part should taste like. Does that make any fucking sense?

When I finally smashed a mouthful back, my mouth just exploded with juice & saliva. The burger juice, the melting sugar, the gooey cheese with the sauce. There was just nothing dry about this. Everything oozed gloriously.

And it tasting fucking awesome.

The caramel flavour & sugar really did pair with the beef & brought out the sweetness in the red onions. And once the sugar had melted from the top of the bottom doughnut, it just soaked up all the burgers juice, leaving a sloppy mess of a last few bits. In this case, sloppy meaning great.

Absolute instant favourite of mine. I implore anyone to make & try one before saying “WTF?! THE GROSS!”. It wasn’t. Well it is, but really, it wasn’t. And to save myself from an early grave I probably won’t make one again just yet, but I sure as fuck will be enjoying one in the future.

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3 responses to “Fuck Buns: Krispy Kreme Double Cheeseburger

  1. Pingback: Triple Meat Double Down & Poutine-Not-Really-Poutine | Greedy Dean·

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